Sunday, April 3, 2011

Firstly, I would like to start by thanking my dear friend Christine for creating this blog for me as a way of sharing the many memories that I have of my precious daughter Isabella. I must warn you that in no way am I a writer, poet or someone who has a way with words. Instead, I am just a mother who is trying to comes to grip with the loss of the most important person in her life. It takes a tragedy like this to make a person realise how much support they have in their life. I am so grateful to all of my family and friends for all of the time that they have dedicated to listening to me cry and complain about how unfair life is. Yet behind thier strong faces I know that they are crumbling inside just as I am.


Last night as I lie on my bed trying to understand all of the chaos that was going on in my head, I decided write a poem as a way of expressing my sadness. Here is what I came up with.


The world was once an amazing place,

so many wonders one could embrace.

Full of smiles and so much love,

I was so grateful to above.

Now my heart is filled with fear,

anger and fruatration looming near.

I'm left standing wondering why,

my sweet Bella had to die.

My faith is questioned, beleifs unclear,

why would God take someone so dear.

My precious angel I'll never forget,

for the time we shared is no regret.

Maybe in time my heart will mend,

I'll get some answers in the end.

For now my memories are my Saving Grace,

I hold them close in a special place.

For in my heart she is still alive,

all I can do is sit and cry.

26 comments:

Lucy said...

Marisa, My sister and best friend, you are the most amazing person I know and you don't even know it. You say that you are not a writer or poet,but your words are so beautiful and powerful. You will always be Isabella's mother and she was so lucky to have you and Frank as parents. We will never have the answers to why we lost Isabella, but we will find a way to carry on and to make the world a better place in her honour.

Anonymous said...

My dearest Marisa, your strength is a source of power to all of those around you. You are an inspiration and my prayer for you is that you continue to honour your feelings and the memory of Isabella. May you also be the voice of those many parents that have lost their children. Marisa, continue to inspire those around you, to heal yourself, those you love and all the others that will be touched by your message. May God continue to guide you, strengthen you, and heal you in His mercy. Look back, but also keep looking forward!!

Gina C. said...

My dearest Marisa, your strength is a source of power to all of those around you. You are an inspiration and my prayer for you is that you continue to honour your feelings and the memory of Isabella. May you also be the voice of those many parents that have lost their children. Marisa, continue to inspire those around you, to heal yourself, those you love and all the others that will be touched by your message. May God continue to guide you, strengthen you, and heal you in His mercy. Look back, but also keep looking forward!!

April 3, 2011 10:14 PM

Pattie said...

Good Morning Marisa: As I read the blog I am touched and remember all too well the days I would sit in front of the computer wondering what was going to come out of me and how it would be interpreted by my many readers. I encourage you to keep writing. You will find an inner therapy deep within yourself and probably a better therapy than anyone else's words. You know yourself better than anyone and you will be able to guide yourself through this incrediblly painful time. The purple ribbon is beautiful, and is actually the proper colour for my son's Cancer. I feel your pain and experience my own on a daily basis as well. I know you and I are not close, however our houses are only separated by a few streets. Maybe we could go for a walk, talk and just help each other. What do you think? Call me. 416 562 2700 Anytime. Pattie Pietrobono

Chris said...

Marisa, this blog is a great idea (thank you Christine). By creating a forum for you to express your feelings, the whole world can be the beneficiary of Bella’s beautiful legacy. I will check it often and contribute when I think I can help.

You and Frank are in our thoughts every day.

Cousin Chris

PS - The poem is beautiful, keep writing.

Karen said...

Marisa, your words are beautiful & your blog will definitely touch many hearts & help inspire others. As I read your blog, I cry because I can't even imagine what you & Frank must feel & at the same time, I smile because the pictures of Isabella are just beautiful. Hold on to those memories & she is forever with you. Love & prayers from Karen.

Jan Moir said...

Hi Marisa & Huggs!!

I am Paula Moncada's sister and I've written to Angie as well to forward my thoughts to you and your family at this time. I've met many members of your family and they are absolutely without question some of the finest and most loving people - you are very fortunate to have them for they will cloak you in Love always.

I will share with you that I lost a brother at a young age whom none of my siblings knew. I witnessed how it affected my parents and know first hand how puzzling and terrible it feels. I offer you my deepest sympathy and must say that your poem was magnificent and real!

Faith in God is extremely important always and I'd like to share something with you that I saw on the Today show. The book is called "Heaven is for Real" and it's a young boy's story of his visit to Heaven. You can go to http://heavenisforreal.net/ to find out more.

Reading a book may not be tops on your list right now and I certainly understand. I've read so many books over the years about Heaven and what it's like on the other side. From Sylvia Browne's perspective to an amazing little book called "When God Winks" that address's the coincidences in life that are really messages to guide us through.

I'm sure many people will have suggestions for you and a hand held out to help you heal. Writing your thoughts and feelings will be it's own therapy for you - but it also helps to demonstrate who you are. I look forward to hearing and feeling along with you!

Huggs again, you are in my thoughts!

Jan xoxo

Loretta said...

My dearest Marisa, words seem to fail me as I try to offer you some words of encouragement and strength as you grieve. Your words are so touching and I encourage you to keep writing so that you can express your feelings to try to heal. You are one of the strongest people I know – and you are surrounded by so many that love you, and will support you and Frank as you try to deal with what has happened. Isabella is terribly missed, and your beautiful memories of her will continue to live with you and all the lives of those she touched by her amazing spirit. You and Frank are in my thoughts and prayers. Love and Hugs, Loretta.

Lucy said...

Jan,
I'm Marisa's sister Lucy, and I am so glad that you shared your thoughts with Marisa and all of the other readers as well. The book you suggested,"Heaven is For Real" was on the top of my Father's list to read. He must of been watching the same show you were. Just last week he went out and bought it. He read it in one day and passed it along to my Mom. It will make it's way to Marisa and Frank next, and hopefully to me at some point too. Thanks again for sharing your story.

Josie DiMarco said...

Marisa, I'm glad to see that you are expressing your feelings. Writer or no writer, your words are beautiful so please continue. I think of you daily and hope you and your family are finding ways to cope. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Big hugs and kisses.
Josie

Angela Velocci said...

Marisa, this website is such a beautiful way of honouring our precious little Angel. Your words are just perfect; they come from your heart.

I am so proud of you for so many reasons but most of all for being the wonderful mother that you are. We are all very lucky to have had Isabella in our lives even for the short time that we did. She will never be forgotten and will always have a special place in my heart.

Just know that I am always here
for you whenever you need me. I may not know exactly the right thing to say but I give good hugs and kisses.

I love you so much my beautiful neice. We will get through this together.

Love,
Angie

janmoir said...

Ohh Goodness Lisa...& WOW!

I just got goosebumps about that - so great to hear that book and story has reached your family already!

You know there are expressions about "6 Degrees of Separation" and they come to us in our links to others - I think one of those just happened!!!

Something tells me that Marisa & Frank are meant to read this book as it has already shown up to your Dad & Mom....maybe what I said just helped it move along to reach her! Looks like Mommy & Daddy know best!..lol

Geeze....you just made me smile from ear to ear....funny how that love and caring stuff travels...and little messages find their way...Huh?

Huggs to All....and that Angie too, yer the best!

Jan Moir said...

OOOPS....Lucy....I got your name wrong....sorry about that!

When that connection thing starts working...at least we have to get the names right!...

Dakota said...

Marisa,

Your poem was beautiful. I hope you continue to post new ones and find some comfort in expressing yourself in those words. Truely beautiful.

Not a day goes by that I dont think of you and Frank. You created a beautiful child together because you are both so beautiful.

love you and thinking of you,
Dakota

Missy I said...

Marisa, I did not know you personally, but worked with your sister Lucy a few years ago.

The only thing that I can think of right now is to send you a message of healing, love and strength. In this trying time, please know that there are so many people who love you, who support you and who want to see you heal. I think this blog is a wonderful way to start your healing process.

This is a touching way to commemorate your daughter. Take all the time in the world to heal. And know that Isabella is looking down on you with a smile on her face and love in her heart.

Sincerely, Eleonora

Anonymous said...

Hi Marisa,

I am a friend of your sister's. Sisters are such a special and wonderful source of strength in difficult times. I lost my sister to cancer and miss her always. Take that strength from her and hang on tightly. I am praying for you.

Rosa said...

Hi Marisa,
It's Rosa Mazza from St. Francis Xavier (you may remember me from your practice teaching).
I am so sorry for the pain that you and your husband are going through. Your daughter is beautiful.
Your poem was so wonderfully written and it must have taken a lot of courage to write and post it. The blog is a great way to express your feelings and educate people about strep. Marisa, it's okay for your heart to be filled with fear,anger and frustration and to be questioning (this is part of the healing process). Stay close to the support of your family and friends.

Harmony88 said...

My dear friend, Marisa

Isabella was a sweet light of joy and she will be missed. I'm sorry that you and Frank are going all of this. We are here for you always if you need anything.

You are a wonderful mother and I have always admired your strength and optimism.

Chris and I feel so lucky to have spent time with you, Frank and Bella this past Christmas break. Time fell too short.. Gone too soon (Michael Jackson-listen to the song, it's very touching).

Everything you wrote is beautiful and touching. Your words brought tears to my eyes. It's okay to feel that life is unfair...what happened IS unfair.

Keep writing, love hearing from you knowing that you are carrying on with the memories you have of Bella.

Love,
Joyce

Anonymous said...

Marisa, I am one of Lucy’s friends. Words cannot express what you are feeling and going through in this difficult time of your life. Just know that you are surrounded by many people who love you so very much. Use their shoulders to cry on, talk to and express what you are feeling. Even though they may not understand what you are going through they will all be there to support you. You have done a wonderful thing by setting up this blog. It’s a wonderful way to express your feelings and you have done so already in such a beautiful poem that you have written. Our faith is always questioned when a tragedy like this happens, we can never understand why? God will give you strength to continue to believe in him as I truly believe he will never give you more than you can handle. You have a strong family that will help you deal with the loss of your precious Isabella. She will always be in your heart…..my mom lost her little girl at a very young age and I can tell you 49 years later she still remembers every special moment with her and the special bond they had. Keep that strong in your heart….and remember Isabella will always be close to your heart no matter what you are doing or where you are. Remember that beautiful smile and those beautiful eyes! Keeping you and your family in my prayers always.

Izabell Turowski said...

Hi there Marisa,

It's Izabell, Natalie's Sister. I am so so sorry for the pain that you and Frank are going through. My thoughts are with the both of you.
As I am sitting at work and reading your post's, my eyes are tearing up. Stay strong and I will be checking back on a regular basis. What a fantastic way to share and remember the life of Isabella

LisaDay said...

You may not be a poet but that is a beautiful piece.

I am so sorry.

LisaDay

Chris Coz said...

I'm so proud of you, Marisa.
Love and hugs,
Chris

Patricia said...

I love you
Have faith
A sign is on its way

Anonymous said...

Marisa,

You are the strongest person I know. Bella was lucky to have an amazing mom like you. She is with you always, your little angel. This blog is a great way to educate others, and also to help you gain strength. Continue this always, you are amazing.

Lots of love <3

Anonymous said...

Marisa,
Thank you for sharing your story on what has to be a mother's worst fear. I couldn't read this blog without crying myself, and at the same time, realizing how few of us stop to remember what's really important in this life. I am touched & amazed that you & your husband are being so strong for each other. God bless you, your husband & that sweet little Isabella in heaven.

Katie said...

I have just read your page and it has left me in floods of tears. I am pregnant and having a little girl and was looking for a butterfly cot bumper and fell upon your page. Your daughter was so so beautiful and every time i see a butterfly it will remind me of her. I admire your strength and think you are amazing the way you remember her and keep her memory alive. Take care and Isabella will be watching over you. She will be very proud of what you have done and i am sure she loves you and misses you very muchx