I have to say that after rereading my last blog that was written, I felt a little bad. I hope that nobody feels bad about anything said but maybe will reconsider saying it in the future. I have to say that I have an amazing support system of people that love Isabella.
Today Frank and I had an appointment to go to and ended out being our of the house longer then expected. To my surprise we actually ventured our to a public place where there was a good chance that I would come in contact with young families with young children. Any guesses? We ventured to Swiss Chalet. We have taken Isabella to that exact Swiss Chalet a few months prior because they were having there all you can eat french fries special. I have to admit that being out at a restaurant without her felt weird. Even though we ate out regularly, we always had her with us. She loved being at restaurants because she could talk to the waiters and waitresses. She was such a social person that she would say hi to any person that she saw. I could just picture her sitting in her high chair and munching on chicken and fries and waving to all of the people that walked by. I have to say that I am so proud of both Frank and I for attempting to do something that was very scary. I know that she would be proud of us too.
I have also come to the conclusion that I am no longer going to refer to Isabella as dead, gone or as a loss. I am going to refer to her as my daughter who is living in her new house in heaven. I am going to think of her as living, except she is living and experiencing things that I cannot even imagine. So when someone asks if I have children, my answer is yes. I have a beautiful daughter and her name is Isabella Grace and she is living with Jesus and the Angels. They are watching over her for me until it is our time to be together again.
I guess that based on the way I feel right now, today was a good day. Love you Princess.
12 comments:
Marisa,
I think this entry put a smile on a lot faces today. Isabella is very proud of you and so am I.
Marisa,
You are such a beautiful person; inside and out !! Never feel like you have to apologize for anything you say or do during these difficult times. You have every right to feel and say whatever you do and whoever doesn't like it, too bad !!
I can't tell you how happy it makes me to know that you and Frank have taken another step towards healing by going out to a public place. I'm so very proud of you and I'm sure your precious Isabella is smiling happily too.
Love you all soooo much,
Angie
So glad you had a good day!
Grr i wasn't done lol! Its a freeing moment when you realize that you will refer to your child, not in past tense. You will mention that yes I have 2 children, but one is not living anymore. Something we all go through, but its part of the process. In the beginning it was easier to not mention her because you dont want to not be able to control your emotions. Now I can for the most part and can talk about her and her deaht and not always cry.
For sure put a smile on my face!
Marisa,
Thanks for finding my blog. Your sweet Bella is darling and I am so sorry for all you have had to experience.
Your paragraph on not using the word dead gave me goose bumps. that's exactly how i feel! She is very much alive...we just have to wait to experience it all!
Hope your good days outweigh the bad!
xo,
Stacey
Marisa, your words show us all just how strong and brave you are. To know you had a good day yesterday put a huge smile on my face, you deserve it. Love Jenn xo
Marisa,
Just the other day I was thinking the same thing. If someone asks me if my brother has any kids I decided that I was going to respond "yes he has a daughter and she in heaven" and don't ever feel that you have to apologize for anything you say, as those are your true feelings. Take all the time you need and do things when you want!You are actually stronger that you think you are for even pouring and sharing your feelings with all of us, and I can just imagine how proud Isabella is thinking "ya that's my amazing mom alright"
It is so great to hear that you are getting out!!!!
Love ya,
Mary G
Marisa I'm so happy to hear you and Frank ventured off to a public place, that is a huge step in the right direction. Isabella could never be more proud of her parents and is probably bragging about you both to the other kids that she is playing with. Hope you both have many more good days!
Love Sabrina :)
Hugggs Marisa,
I'm catching up on your writings...I sense the waves of emotion...which can only mean you are getting a "flow" of things.
Wonderful too that you see life "with" Isabella - you have a knowing inside that tells you over and over again...that even though the time was short...it was AMAZING too!
She walks with you...and you walk with her inside! She IS your story!
Huggs Darling....
Be well....light shines!
Made my day to read this...
Hugs,
Chris
Marisa,
I must admit this really made me smile today. Your courage continues to inspire me. I hope that there are many more good days coming your way.
My thoughts and love always.
Loretta xo
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