Thursday, May 5, 2011

Never Forgotten

I spent a nice day with family today and had a chance to discuss with my grandmother the fact that her mother had lost 7 sons between the ages of 1 month and 18 months. My heart broke when I heard this for many reasons. I was saddened that I never knew about this, saddened that my great grandmother had to endure so much loss, and even more saddened that in those times this was so common for families to go through. I asked my grandmother if they ever talked about her siblings that had passed ans she said that they did not. I began to cry for my grandmother and her sisters who know nothing about the brothers that they have. They don't know the way they looked or the silly things that they did. I expressed to my grandmother how sad I was because that is the complete opposite that I want in my future. I want any future children that I have to know that they have a big sister named Isabella. I want them to know that she had the most beautiful eyes, smiles and curls. I want them to know that she a sense of humour and that she is loving them from heaven. I want to show them pictures and videos and read them the stories that she loved. I want them to feel close to Isabella and to love her as much as we do. Isabella will always be an important part of my family. She is my monkey and my future monkeys will always know that their big sister loves them and watches over them every day. Your are my first child Isabella and nobody will ever take your place in my hear.

6 comments:

Chris Coz said...

You astound me, truly.

Anonymous said...

Marisa, each time I read your blogs I am truly amazed at your strength! My mom always talked about my sister who passed away before I was born. To this day, every Christmas Eve we have her favorite meal which was Pasta with Broccoli. We know how much it means to my mom to do this, and we never ever change the menu. One time my mom tried to and she made lasagna....well guess what, the lasagna was burnt! Must of been my sister telling her, "mom don't change things!" :) It's like she is with us during these special occasions and always. Even when we gather for a special occasion my mom always sets an extra place, sometimes on purpose and sometimes not. It truly is amazing that even though I never met my sister I always think of having an older sister who is always watching me from above, and is always giving me guidance and protecting me and my family. Your sweet Isabella will do the same to your future children! She will always be around protecting them and watching over them. She will never be forgotten!

ASHLEY ELDER said...

I feel the same way you do...we talk about my son ALL the time, I don't want my other children to forget him and our future children to know their older brother was...plus, I LOVE talking about, it definitely helps me heal through my grief. I want my children to knowt that they can ask me anything about their brother and that is it ALWAYS okay to talk or mention him...I may tear up BUT it is only because someone else (besides me) brought him up :)

Mom said...

My amazing daughter Marisa,

Isabella will never, ever be forgotten by any of us. She has left an imprint in our lives, which can never be removed. Her wonderful disposition, her enchanting smile and her amazing eyes touched us as no one else has. Her laugh and priceless expressions “wa hapin”, “gampa’, “wher iz he”, “owside” and especially when she clasped her hand and hit her chest and said, “I love u” just like Gampa taught her. Every special moment we had with our precious Isabella will be remembered and we will always speak share all the wonderful moments we had with her.

Love you Princess

Lucy said...

Not only will your future children know and love Isabella, so will all of our children too. We will always talk about sweet Bella, look at photos/videos and tell our favourite stories of her. She will continue to live through us forever,until we meet her again.

Susan said...

I relate to this. I talk and think about Catherine every day, and I can't imagine not carrying on doing that. My inlaws seem to think we shouldn't mention her and she move on from being sad for the sake of the baby, but it just sounds bonkers to me. I was at a baby sale today, and half the toys there were familiar to me because Catherine had owned them. I can't imagine taking my new baby (God willing she arrives safely) to do activities I did with Catherine, and not mentioning her big sister. it would be weird.

We'll never leave our eldest daughters behind.