Thursday, September 29, 2011

I am busy again

It has been a while since I have written. It is not because I have nothing to say but because I have been super busy. I have been back at work since the last week of August and on top of that I am taking a religion course every Monday and some weekends and that will continue until December. I have also joined a new Child Loss Group which I attend once a week. For the last seven months I have not had that feeling of being busy and I have to say that the feeling is very familiar. I remember the feeling of rushing to Isabella's school, struggling to make dinner as she ripped all of the plastic bags from the drawer. I remember not even being able to go to the washroom in silence because Isabella always wanted to be in there with me. I remember the feeling of being busy and I missed that it.

Last week on the news I saw that a scientist believes that he has diproven Eisenstein's theory of nothing being faster then the speed of light. The scientist feels that if this is true that Time Travel may be possible. It made me wish that this was true and that I could go back in time, even just for a moment. Even just to tell her that I love her one last time, or to run my finger through her curls, or to have her sleep with her head on my tummy. Al of those things that I took for granted, that now I am relying on a time machine to go back in time to experience once again.

The past week as been full of ups and downs. It is exactly like the book says. Greif sneeks up on you when you least expect it an it makes itself nice and comfortable. I knew that this month would be difficult but I never expected to feel as low as the lows feel. I guess that this is just practice for all of the birthdays and anniversaries that are to come.

Wish me luck


michelle said...

Its realy good you are getting back into the swing of things, I wish we all had a time machine too. Thanks Marisa for still being able to stop my blog and say a few words of support, you are so thoughtful. I hope next month is easier for you. Well wishes

Angie said...

I hope that things get easier for you along the way but we are and will always be here for you should you need a shoulder to cry on or anything at all.

Love you with my heart !!


Mary Gatti said...

It is good to see that you are keeping busy and filling your time with things that interest you.

We are with you every step of the way.

Love always,


Lucy said...

Now that you are back at work, being busy is just part of the routine.
Understandably , this month has been particularly difficult and I wish there was something I could do or say to make things just a little bit easier.
Always remember I am here for you. I'm here to talk, to listen or even cry with.