Sunday, September 11, 2011

Six Months

Yesterday marked six months since Isabella has passed. It is weird because for the first time I am actually feeling that I have to wait years and years to see her again. I guess that I always knew it but when you hear six months it puts into perspective how long it will be. Six months is a third of her life, that is so long.

I don't like the idea that I will not be the same person when that time comes. I wonder if I will be the same silly mommy that she knows and loves. I wonder if she will like the mommy that I become. I want to be the same person that she knows but know that with time and life experiences people change. I just don't want to harden, become angry and bitter. Isabella would definitely not recognise me then.

Yesterday was also my father's birthday and I know that Isabella was right there with us. She was right there on Grandpa's lap blowing out the candles and sharing his carrot cake with him. It was a hard day for all of us but we all knew that Isabella would have wanted us to celebrate.

I am half way through the month of September and have to admit that the month of September will always be a hard month for me.

Miss you Bella,



michelle said...

It does feel like time drags almost, its weird. I try not to think about how long its been but its hard as Jack's bday will be soon.

Mary Gatti said...

Hi Marisa,

I was thinking kind of the same thing. I third of her life has passed but the thoughts that I have for her only become stronger and stronger.

Lucy said...

Marking the 6 month was really hard. I could hardly believe that it has been half of a year since I have last seen or hugged sweet Bella. In one sense it feels like just yesterday I got a terrible phone call that changed our life forever. And on the other hand it feels like so much longer since I have last been blessed in her presence. Either way it hurts so much and I miss her more and more each day. Each moment we spent together will forever be ingrained in my mind and heart.