Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Another angel in heaven

Thank you to everyone who sent me an e-mail and decided to continue reading my blog. I am honoured that you would want to follow along as I express my hopes and fears, depending on the day.

I received devastating news the other day that a friend of a relative of mine had a terrible loss. Her child passed away in his sleep, otherwise known as SIDS. My heart goes out to that family and I know to well the pain that they are going through.

I know the anger towards God, toward yourself and towards the universe for causing this terrible thing to happen. I know the lack of compassion towards anyone because the only pain that you are able to feel is your own, and no other pain matters. I know the bitterness towards every other person who has a living child (even complete strangers) because this happened to you and not to them. I know the unwillingness to take care of yourself (not eating healthy meals, not wearing your seat belt) because you do not care about yourself anymore. I know to well the will to be with them and begging God to take you as well because you could not bear another moment without your child.

Somewhere along the way I also began to know the little glimpses of hope and faith that you will see your child again. I experienced the moments when you get shivers for no reason because your child is sending you a big hug. I know the support of family and friends that carry you at times when you are unable to stand.

Unfortunately you have to go through the darkest moments in order to see the light that is at the end waiting for you. I have not fully gotten to that bright light but I know that I am on my way. I know that my future will be bright and that some day my tears will be replaced with laughter. My journey has just began and it is going to be a long road to travel. But I know that I am not travelling it alone. I have a fantastic husband who is also an outstanding father. Most of all I have a little monkey named Isabella who is dancing along beside us and cheering us in at times when we feel low. The three Cappelli's will get through this together and for that I am truly grateful.

Please keep that precious baby boy on your prayers.


Lucy said...

My heart breaks every time I hear about another loss. It makes me relive how I felt when Isabella left us. I can't even imagine how it makes you feel. You always reach out to those in need and your compassion and strength will help them learn to cope with their loss. You, Frank and Bella are always in my prayers and this family will be too.

Angie said...

You a truly a remarkable person. It's no wonder you were blessed with such a special daughter, Isabella.

Love you always and forever,