Monday, August 6, 2012

"Little man"

"I miss you little monkey".   I cannot believe how many days have passed and how even though I look stronger from the outside the feeling of missing my daughter is stronger each and every day.  It just eats away at me and feels like a big ball of pain that is holding me down.  I am trying to stay strong for my "little man" so that I do not cause him any stress inside the womb.  I just want him to be cozy and safe at all times.  Yet I know that he feels my pain.  He knows that loss that I am feeling.   I read that stress could be as harmful for the baby as drugs or alcohol.   I expressed this to my OBGYN along with my concern over my stress.  She explained that stress and grieving are different.  That grieving is natural and will not harm the baby.  I just hope that along with feeling my pain that my "little man" also feels my love for him along with my anxiousness to hold him and tell him how much his mommy, daddy and big sister love him.


Susan said...

I had reiki when I was pregnant Marisa - I can't explain it, but it did seem to make me feel very calm. At the end of one session, I remember that Madeleine communicated to me - so strongly I can almost feel it now - "so loved". That is what our babies are. I was pg with Miss M 6 months after C died, so through the first anniversary and all that pain... I want to reassure you that she is fine - a really calm baby.

The other day she picked up a photo of Catherine and kissed it.

You are a great mom - so pleased your little man is growing safely. Can't wait to welcome him to the world xx

marisa said...

Thank you Susan,

I as well have done reiki and chakra balancing work and as well truly enjoyed it. I have not done it since being pregnant because I am a little scared (not sure why). Maybe I will give it a try again to calm me a little. Thanks for your kind words.


Lucy said...

I wish there was more I could do or say, other than telling you how much we love you, Frank, Bella and the little guy.
You are an amazing woman.

michelle said...

I have so worried the same exact thing about Severus. I have even refrained from crying and that isnt easy; because I am afraid he will hear and feel it. Pregnancy after loss is hard. I am thinking of your family and Isabella always. xo

Anonymous said...

Dear Marisa,
What I believe that your "little man" is feeling inside your womb is precious unending love!! He feels how much you miss and love his big sister and how much love is waiting for him once he enters the world as your son.
Thinking & praying for you.