Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Miss you

I miss you Bella. I have been missing you so much lately. Even though I miss you every second of everyday, the past few days I have missed you one hundred times more. My missing has turned to longing. I long to hear you say mamma, to read your apple book to you, to see your beautiful smile and so much more. The hole in my stomach has become a normanl feeling. It is just a part of my day and I now get comfort from its presence because that hole comes from love. It comes from the love that I have for you.

We are approaching eight months from the moment that she passed and I am shocked that I have survived to this point. I always said that I would die if anything happened to Isabella and I am still standing. Sometimes I wonder where the strength comes from. I now know that it comes from her. She truly is my motivaion for so many things. Crawling into a ball would be to easy. Living is hard! I am living so that she could be proud of me. I want her to know that I am not taking the easy way out, instead I am trying to live and I am doing that all for her.

I love you Isabella

6 comments:

michelle said...

I am sure she would be proud! xo

Maria said...

I am SO proud of you, Marisa! I always thought the same thing, too. I would surely die if one of my children would leave this earth. I knew I could never survive. I, too, am amazed that I am still alive and coping with losing Carlie 18 months ago. The longing will always be there. You are living and that is what matters! I love you, Marisa, and I SO wish we lived closer!! xoxoxo

Lucy said...

I wish there was something I could do or say to take away even a little bit of your pain. All I can do is be here for you and support you in any way I can. I love you very much and would do anything for you.

Chris M said...

Marisa - she is no doubt very proud of your strength. She's watching over your every step and sending you the love you use to carry on.

You're making her very proud.

love Chris

michelle said...

Thank you to you, your hubby and Isabella. We recieved your tribute letter and I put it on my blog. Dont worry I covered our adresses up. That really meant a whole lot to us. Isabella will always have a special place in my heart with Jack. I picture them together in there often playing, loving each other and of course fighting over their favourite toys LOL Thank you

Patricia said...

You are the strongest person I know and you are helping so many people. Isabella is so proud.