Sunday, March 10, 2013

Dreaded day

I want to start by saying thank you to everyone who offered us support today through a card, email, phone call or whatever way it was. It is always comforting to know that Isabella is in your thoughts and hearts as well as ours. Today marks two years since the dreaded day. It means that I have lived more days without Isabella then I have with her. It seems as though she has always been in my life. My world was so different when she was in it and the center of it. I found myself a little angry this week. I wasn't angry at anyone in particular, not at God or the doctors or even myself. I was just angry at the situation and at the fact that she was not given a chance to play sports, go to school, have her first crush or even get grounded. All of those experiences that most people take for granted. I was and still am angry on behalf of all of the children that have to die. It happens to often. It seems that every day I hear another story about another child who has died and it tears me up each time. This should not be. Innocent children should not be taken so soon, they should be here giggling and running through sprinklers. We should be buying them ice creams and not bringing them flowers. Even though today is a terrible reminder of what has happened it is still just a day. Today is not any harder then tomorrow or yesterday. Each day I carry the same pain and each day my heart aches to see my little girl again. Each day I have to remind myself of the promise that I made to Bella when I saw her that last time. I promised her that I would make her proud and I can do that by being a good mother to Julian, good wife to Frank and a good friend for those who need me. I hope that you are proud of me Bella because I do all of this for you. I love you more than words can say. Mommy


Anonymous said...

Marisa, I think of you and isabella everyday and today I said an extra prayer in her name. God Bless her yesterday, today and forever more. Love you signed Lisa Nagy

Christine Cosentino said...

We didn't want to bug you yesterday but we were thinking about you all day. Em and I went to visit Bella on our way home from church. She is in our hearts and minds always, as are you, Frank and Julian. We love you :)


Lucy said...

Bella is in my thoughts and heart every single day. Her gorgeous eyes and curly hair are so clear in my mind. I can hardly believe that it has been two years since I've cuddled her. I often feel angry that she is not here in the physical world to be with us. It's strange, but I also feel her presence telling me that its okay and that she is happy. It makes me feel a little bit better for her as I know she is a beautiful place, but not a whole love better for you and Frank, and all,of us that love her so much. Never doubt that as time passes we will forget. Bella is and always will be your 1st child, the first grandchild, my Niece and god child, a big cousin, little cousin and so much more. Even though she is not here physically with us, no one can take the memories we have with her. She lives on through all of us, especially you,Frank and Julian.

Angie said...

A day doesn't go by that I don't think of our precious baby girl. She brought so much joy to our lives and I am grateful for the time that we were blessed to have her with us. She is around us everywhere. All the beauty of the world is Isabella. She will never, ever be forgotten.

Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.

Love you all so much,


michelle said...

Isabella is always in my thoughts xo

Gina said...

Your family is always in my thoughts. I am so grateful that Isabella continues to make you strong! Be proud Marisa.


marisa said...

Thank you All.

Love you,