My little man is here and he is such an amazing little boy. His name is Julian Joseph. He arrived on November 8th at 4:15pm via c-section. The experience of having a baby via c-section was totally different then the experience that I had delivering Isabella. I brought a picture of Isabella to the hospital with me. I needed to have her there with me just as she would have been if she was here. My recovery is proving to be quite different as well. My husband has really stepped up to the plate by taking care of alot of the household duties (laundry, dishes, meals) as well as,asking sure that I always have a full glass of water and have taken my medication. Being that I could not bend in the first week he also was responsible for diaper duty and I was his assistant. Thank goodness for Frank. Julian is such an amazing little guy. He is a big boy who was born at pounds 8 pounds 13. At his Dr. Apt. today he weighed in at 9 pounds 1. I have heard from so many moms of boys to watch out for their spray when yu are changing them. Today Julian proved them right. While changing him today he showered himself and me with a nice urine shower. Being a mom to a little boy is a whole new experience to me. I would not change it for anything. I have caught myself many times calling Julian Bella. While I am holding him I could convince myself that he is her. He looks like her and reminds me so much of her. I often see him looking out at "nothing" and concentrating so intently. I just know that he is looking at her. She would not miss her little brothers presence for anything. Bella, I miss you so much but I know that you are here with us always. You will alwaysbe my girl. I love you and know that you're going to be the best big sister ever. u

Nervous

As the babies due date gets closer, I get a little more nervous. I am not nervous about having another baby. It is the the idea about bringing another child into this world that is full of germs and diseases that I cannot prevent no matter how hard I try. It is scary to open up your heart again to a little one who cannot tell you that they feel sick or are in pain. I was very cautious of germs with Isabella and will be the same if not worse with this little one. I am already prewarnimg people that I don't want people coming over if they are sick or have someone in their home that is sick. I know what people are thinking. They are thinking that I am over paronoid and that I need to relax. That I need to expose my children to germs. My answer would be that until you have lost a child to a disease that began with a "common" virus please just respect my wishes. One in a million is still one on a million. I am going to do everything in my power to prevent anyone that I love from being another one. I will try to do this at the same time allowing my little man to experienc life without my fear overshadowing him. With that being said, I am getting very excited to meet this little man. I know that he will bring my world the light that has been lost the past year and a half. My family and friends are just as excited as we are to meet him. I know that this little guy is going to bring us all a little closer to Isabella through the fact that he is a part of her. I look forward to holding my son and showing him the beautiful world that we live in and introducing him to all of the beautiful people in this world who love him already.