Monday, April 1, 2013

Watching over her brother

Another Easter has come and gone. This year we decided that we would celebrate Easter being that it is Julain's first. I am trying my best not to let my pain stand in the way of Julian's happiness. It is not his fault that sister is not here with us in the physical form. He should not have to live on her shadow or her memory. I want him to have all of the amazing memories and experiences that Bella had. He got to spend time with family and meet family members that he has never met before. He enjoyed every minute of it. It seemed wrong that I went to the cemetery to visit one child and then went to celebrate with my other child. Life is just not what I expected it to be. I know that Bella visits Julian daily because I can hear him giggling through his monitor. He is talking gibberish as if someone is ther with him. I know that someone is his big sister. Every morning it puts as smile on my face because for that moment I can feel and believe that my two children are together. It is a great way to start my day. I know that she is watching over him and being the amazing big sister that she is. Thank you Bella for watching over your brother. I love you and am so blessed to have you as a daughter. I love you always princess and will miss you forever Mommy